Luisa dice … break the mold.

“There’s nothing wrong with it! Just wipe the green part off. That’s how food gets in the fridge.”

– Luisa, on an extremely moldy can of whipped cream. For the record, I did not eat it.

Luisa dice … add some canela.

“Did you know cinnamon is an aphrodisiac? No, seriously. If you don’t feel like making love, you just put some in your coffee and … well. That’s that.”

– Luisa, offering Meredith some cinnamon. I couldn’t make this stuff up.

Luisa dice … blame the Coca Cola.

“It was because I had a sip of Coca Cola with Luis in the afternoon … yes, I also had three cups of coffee. But it was definitely the Coca Cola.”

– Luisa explains her insomnia. Sort of.

Luisa dice … algo en español

“Sin joder, ya estás jodida.”

– Luisa, saying something (hilarious) that I’d rather not translate into English.

Luisa dice … vegetarian is just another word for picky eater

“The university told me ‘the girls aren’t picky, they eat anything.’ But Mer doesn’t eat chicken. Or fish. Or tuna. Or shrimp. Or chorizo. Or morcilla. So actually, you are very picky.”

– Luisa on vegetarianism

Luisa Dice … your life is kind of boring.

“Sure, I’ll ask them questions to make conversation. But I’ve been through so much in my life, other people’s don’t really interest me.”

–  Luisa, making conversation.

Luisa Dice … real cooks use saltshakers.

“Oh, wonderful, you used the saltshaker. You’re really a cook now.”

– Luisa, engaged in a lengthy, often deprecatory monologue with some amateur cooking show.

Luisa Dice … honesty is overrated.

“Your right hand shouldn’t know what your left hand is doing. And your men should know even less.”

– Luisa, teaching us yet more of life’s great lessons.

Luisa Dice … it’s all good until someone proposes

“I love the Germans. A German proposed to me once, but I didn’t want to leave Madrid. I didn’t really want to get married, either.”

– Luisa, in response to the fact that I danced with a German guy last night.

Luisa Dice … you can have you cake and eat it, too!

“First you have your cake … and then later, a little dessert!”

– An innuendo-dropping Luisa, on Meredith’s habit of sharing grocery store cakes (among other things) with her boyfriend, pictured here.